Toxic Masculinity is a term oft used to describe massive flaws some men have with being a healthy father, partner, or human.
The term is needed as a definition of what not to do, but we men need to stand up and teach each other what is right.
There exists plenty of men whom upon hearing the term Toxic Masculinity are immediately turned aside with the thoughts, “not all men”. That is a given as the term doesn’t imply “all men” but rather a segment of actions some men can’t break the habit of.
If you are the type to be hellbent on a term that defines ACTION rather than manhood, I don’t know what to say to you other than listen and quit being defensive before you comprehend what is said.
We assume that men understand how to act in society but assumptions are thrown as far as a 50 pound rock. Quite simply, they fall short. That is clearly evident by the sheer amount of violent crimes committed by men as compared to women, including sexual assaults and harassment.
In an attempt to push positive masculinity into the discussion and build up our gender, Productive Manhood is needed.
What is Productive Manhood? It’s my term to define some characteristics of being a decent fucking man in 2019 and beyond:
- Live with a purpose besides work, work is a tool to pay the bills, not your life
- Love your partner but love yourself more, you are meant to add to a relationship, not be co-dependent on it
- Love your children, teach them how to choose a path in life without choosing that path for them. Accept them and lead them to success
- Women aren’t objects nor are they defined by their attractiveness. We aren’t entitled to it
- Empathy is not weakness
- Religion is a choice, not a weapon to be used to further an agenda
- Loving other men can be a platonic or romantic love, the choice depends on the context of your relationship. Both are beautiful
- Health and fitness is self-love, remember Rule 2
As the months wear on I will break down these 8 points and expand upon further ones.
At one point in my life, I was a shitty man and a shitty human being. I make no qualms about speaking from a place of learning from my mistakes with this. I have lived in dirt and rose up to be a better person from it all. I have made amends with my past and used it as a platform to create a better future from those mistakes. Not a single one of us is perfect or infallible. I check myself often with things and truth be told, I can be better.
Men need other men in their lives; not as drinking buddies and guys to scream obscenities at sporting events with, but as a collective support group designed to improve our quality of lives and those around us.
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