What do you value?

Before I even start this article off I will admit one thing; this is more for me than it is you.

It is a little secret that when people write blogs supposedly for the public, they are often for the writer to reinforce ideas in their head, to put their thoughts into writing so they make more sense, or to help them through a period of their life by expressing themselves.

If you read this and it makes you think about your own life, and some choices you have made or will have to make, I am happy for you, but that is on you.

As I get older, in both life and in training age, I have become more firmly rooted in a set of values that the younger me threw away easily. Values like consistency, healthy relationships, living with conviction, and choosing to reinforce those values daily.

You may think what I have to say is a pointless thought process to go through, but I can assure you that it is quite easy to lose sight of who you are in a world where distractions and forks in the road are everywhere.

Take a notebook out, don’t laugh, I actually did this and it helps; and when you see applicable places to write, do so. You will know when it is time to write, if you need instructions for that, you have a lot more to work on that you think.

  1. What do you value in life? What is most important to you?
  2. What drives you to succeed? If it is superficial items, be honest with yourself. 
  3. What do you stand for? What principles define your life?
  4. What regrets do you have? How can you forgive others and yourself for them?
  5. In training, what are your core principles? What do you strive to do in the gym regardless of specific goals?

Maybe these are harder than you think to answer because some of them are open-ended enough to make you think of a concrete answer. I don’t give a shit, I answered them for myself and I have to open this list often as a continual reminder of what is important.

Things you looked at as important when you were younger seem silly and pointless as you get older.

Admittedly I have regrets in life, none of which are applicable to my life as it stands now, but rather decisions I made along the way that hurt me and hurt other people. I can never go back and change those, but I have to live with those actions just the same as others have to.

The trick is to not let those actions define your future. You can wallow in them or you can use them as a reminder of the stupidity and carelessness of youth as you move forward. All that is cliche’ bullshit you already know, but it is something we all need a reminder of every now and then. It is easy to forget this and oftentimes hard to put into action.

As human beings we are solely responsible for our own actions and how we handle life but we would be foolish to think that our actions do not affect people around us. If you have a partner, children, parents, co-workers, or friends, how you express yourself, how you live, what you choose to be important will affect their lives in some way. Magnify that if you are in a relationship or with children. Quite simply, being selfish and self-centered is a fruitless trait and only ends up with results that ultimately are void of concrete meaning.

Trust me, I know this all too well…

I sit here and write this in perhaps the best time of my life. I am surrounded with love that I may not deserve. I am happy with my career that I spent years building. I have valued friends who I care for like they are family. I am lucky not because I have all of this, but because I accept it all.

It took me a while to understand the difference between wanting it and accepting it but it started with that list I wrote out a few years ago which was the start to me seeking a mentally healthier life.

Once I did that, things started to fall into place step by step.

Get your notebook out, make it happen, find what moves you, find what you stand for, find what life means to you, and find your own path to peace.

It is a great feeling to have that peace in a world of chaos.


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