Common dumb ass things you see online about lifting

If you spend any appreciable amount of time on social networking, and you follow people in the lifting world, there is a very good chance you will come across some real dumb shit.

I know you are thinking, yea that workout looks dumb.

No, I don’t give a shit what people choose to do in the gym. If they want to have as much progress as a 75 year old man touching a weight for the first time after awakening from a coma, feel free.

I am talking the sayings… the hashtags… that type of shit.

1. Super Saiyan

Ok, so you look to a cartoon character for your inspiration? I have to assume you are 12 or have the mental maturity of one. If you buy the shirt, you are probably new to lifting so you can be partially excused because you are super enthusiastic about everything right now. You are probably that guy who still reads simplyshredded.com and gets turned on at the “female fitness” section.

2. Beastmode

Die, please die. We are animals, but we have cognizant thoughts. You are not channeling some inner lion, tiger or bear. You are not becoming a wolf. You are lifting weights.

Those animals would eat your ass and shit you out. Stop.

3. Motivational quotes over your own picture

Are you that self-absorbed? Isn’t a selfie enough? Do you have to post a quote that has been recycled 50,000 times over a picture of your ass in a thong?

No.

The selfie is enough, leave room for the ass.

4. This is a light day

This is telling us you are embarrassed of the weight you just lifted, but due to the fact that you want to get likes anyway you post it. You hope that people ignore the fact you just lifted what their sister did who started 3 months ago and double tap the picture anyway.

Or it is some fake modesty shit where you say “yea I just blew your max up like a twig, pussy, but I will be cool and call it a light week”.

Post the weight, we can judge that by the speed of it. Form work, cool… Light week, that shit better be moving like the Road Runner on meth.

5. #nofilter

This speaks for itself.

We can tell you aren’t using a filter, no need to excuse the fact that you aren’t in makeup. It’s ok. We don’t always look like we are ready to walk a red carpet. Own the post cardio sweat face.

6. Anything with Alpha

Big, huge, ironclad rule of the internet.

If you use this word to describe yourself, you are an insecure pile of manhood and you are the furthest thing from alpha imaginable.

Oh, insecure girls will flock to you because they think you are so cool, but you aren’t. You are lying to yourself.

Get offline, find a bridge and throw yourself over it.

Bring your followers with you, the world will be a better place.

 

____


Check out the Ashman Strength System e-book.


Join the Ashman Strength Facebook Page.


Check out Pump, Dump, and Hump; a fitness group based around health, lifting, and sexuality run by my wife and myself.


To inquire about training, contact us for more information.

One thought on “Common dumb ass things you see online about lifting

Comment