If you spend any appreciable amount of time on social networking, and you follow people in the lifting world, there is a very good chance you will come across some real dumb shit.
I know you are thinking, yea that workout looks dumb.
No, I don’t give a shit what people choose to do in the gym. If they want to have as much progress as a 75 year old man touching a weight for the first time after awakening from a coma, feel free.
I am talking the sayings… the hashtags… that type of shit.
1. Super Saiyan
Ok, so you look to a cartoon character for your inspiration? I have to assume you are 12 or have the mental maturity of one. If you buy the shirt, you are probably new to lifting so you can be partially excused because you are super enthusiastic about everything right now. You are probably that guy who still reads simplyshredded.com and gets turned on at the “female fitness” section.
Die, please die. We are animals, but we have cognizant thoughts. You are not channeling some inner lion, tiger or bear. You are not becoming a wolf. You are lifting weights.
Those animals would eat your ass and shit you out. Stop.
3. Motivational quotes over your own picture
Are you that self-absorbed? Isn’t a selfie enough? Do you have to post a quote that has been recycled 50,000 times over a picture of your ass in a thong?
The selfie is enough, leave room for the ass.
4. This is a light day
This is telling us you are embarrassed of the weight you just lifted, but due to the fact that you want to get likes anyway you post it. You hope that people ignore the fact you just lifted what their sister did who started 3 months ago and double tap the picture anyway.
Or it is some fake modesty shit where you say “yea I just blew your max up like a twig, pussy, but I will be cool and call it a light week”.
Post the weight, we can judge that by the speed of it. Form work, cool… Light week, that shit better be moving like the Road Runner on meth.
This speaks for itself.
We can tell you aren’t using a filter, no need to excuse the fact that you aren’t in makeup. It’s ok. We don’t always look like we are ready to walk a red carpet. Own the post cardio sweat face.
6. Anything with Alpha
Big, huge, ironclad rule of the internet.
If you use this word to describe yourself, you are an insecure pile of manhood and you are the furthest thing from alpha imaginable.
Oh, insecure girls will flock to you because they think you are so cool, but you aren’t. You are lying to yourself.
Get offline, find a bridge and throw yourself over it.
Bring your followers with you, the world will be a better place.
Buy the Ashman Strength Ebook here
Join the Ashman Strength Facebook Page.
Be a part of the pretty awesome Pump,
Dump, and Hump Facebook group run by myself and my wife, Sarah. We talk about fitness, health, the gut biome, and sexuality.
Ashman Strength is located at City Gym KC at 7416 Wornall Road in KCMO.
Reach me through the contact page.