How to piss your trainer off

I love blogs like this, because they really cut to the point of what clients do to make us want to roll our eyes at them.

Some clients are amazing, some are average and some get fired.

If you’ve never fired a client, you are missing out on a learning experience. If you have been in the business long enough, you are going to come across people that aren’t worth your time, no matter what they are paying you.

1. Lateness without a heads up

Contrary to popular belief, we aren’t waiting for you. We have schedules and if we do this full-time we are going to have back to back sessions many occasions. When you are late, you throw off your program.

I am not going to punish the next person who shows up on time, I am going to cut yours short. Fair is fair.

Give us a heads up, maybe we can reschedule for another day, maybe we can contact the next person and see if they can come a little later, maybe you are lucky and you have nobody scheduled after you.

Maybe if you don’t contact me before you are late, you get sent home for being inconsiderate. I have done that before when I was a full-time trainer.

2. Assuming we will work for a discount

I have a personal rule.

If you ask for a freebie, or a discount, you will not get one.

Its up to the trainer to determine that. Some people will argue this by saying “well it never hurts to ask”.

This isn’t a retail good, this is a service. You are paying for time, experience, knowledge and coaching. You aren’t buying a new car, you are buying a professional service.

Don’t insult the trainer by asking for a discount; let them offer it to you.

I have given free training, low cost training and discounts on many occasions. Once you breach that line and ask for one, you don’t get it.

3. Ask us what else we do for a living

Want to insult someone’s profession? Ask them this.

People sometimes think this isn’t work.

Allow me to explain what goes into this.

Marketing, scheduling, planning workouts, time management, people skills, long hours, physical work, motivator, therapist and coach.

We attend sporting events off hours, we deal with e-mails and texts from clients, we lift them up when they have bad days and we help them become better.

When you do this full-time, your schedule is full. I was working 14-16 hours a day as a full-time trainer. What else would I have time to do?

So, yes, this is often our only job. Don’t act like its a vacation for us.

4. Bringing your personal life to the gym

As I said a few sentences ago, we are sometimes therapists to our clients, but there are lines.

The gym is a place to let your problems go and not stress over them. I understand that life gets in the way at times, but if you are bringing outside distractions to the gym it will bring everything down around you. If you are in a group class you bring them down. Nobody wants to be around someone who had a bad day at home and is treating people like shit at the gym.

Go the fuck home, clear your head and come back another day.

I would rather have you cancel a session before I deal with a miserable client.

5. Complain

You signed up, you paid the money, you wanted this; now don’t act like its a burden.

I know its hard, I know you hate doing squats, I know high reps burn. Yes, this exercise sucks. Yes, you had a bum knee since you were 2. Yes, you are sweating your ass off.

Shut up and train.

Period. End of story.

We are not going to hurt you or put you through a workout you cannot do. If you have a trainer that does that, leave them immediately.

We know this shit is hard, but your overweight ass needs hard to look like Dana Bailey (which is a pipe dream for many, but fuck it). We know that doing kettlebell swings make you tired. That’s what they do, suck it up and show us you want it.

When you bitch and moan about it, we think you don’t want it bad enough. Sometimes we will give you less of an effort on our end just to shut you up.

Don’t think that happens? It does. Spend your money with pride, be proud you are in the gym, be proud you are improving, be happy a trainer is taking you along for the ride and helping you achieve your goals.

You paid for it, show it.

6. Not following the plan

The worst….

The shit that makes me want to burn down a small town.

We give you workouts to do, fucking do them.

If you add more to it because it didn’t “feel like enough” you are throwing off our planning.

If you have to cut it short because of any reason, you need to let us know so we can adjust. Under no circumstance do I want clients to add more because they can. We are the professionals, you are the client, if you don’t trust our workouts, why the fuck did you hire us?

Know what changing the workouts tells us?

That you know better than we do, when its clear you don’t. That is why you had to hire us in the first place.

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