The only nutrition post you will ever need

Lately I have been getting a lot of questions about nutrition and how to eat.

Which I find hysterical because my diet consists of:

Protein shakes, meat, protein shakes, fish oil, coconut milk/oil and after lifting I tend to eat what I can get my hands on.

AKA Carb Back Loading.

It works for me and my lifestyle and I feel better on that.

A lot of people love CBL and get great results from it. If you think that is for you, visit the site and buy the book.

Some people can’t fathom the idea of eating like that, so this is about as simple as it gets.

  1. Walk into the grocery store.
  2. Get a cart.
  3. Go to the meat section and buy what you want there as long as it isn’t processed lunch meat (too damn bad for you), cow tongue (that shit is gross) or over-sauced up prepared items. I am talking chicken, turkey, sausage (fat isn’t going to kill you), beef, roasts, etc. Load up on what you feel you need.
  4. Next take a frolic to the veggie section. Frozen or fresh is fine. I am not an organic food nazi, especially when you live on a budget. Buy them. Greens, red, oranges, yellows, purples, whatever… buy them. If I hear one person say “but carrots are…” I will throw them INTO the carrots. You need to load up on this stuff that grows in the ground. Its good for you.
  5. Next take your cart full of meats and veggies, throw in some bacon because its good.
  6. Grab some cottage cheese if you can stomach it. I can’t. It has the texture of something you puked up after a bad night out at 21 to me. I can’t deal with that. Some of you can and god bless you for that.
  7. Cheese – optional. Depends on how “big” you are.
  8. Peanut butter, coconut oil, olive oil (the previous two are EXTRA VIRGIN ONLY), almonds, walnuts.
  9. Eggs, a lot of them.
  10. Get some rice, sweet potatoes, red potatoes, squash…
  11. Spices that you enjoy. Me.. I like my food with a little zing to it. I buy cajun and cayenne a lot.

This is simple.

I am not a nutritionist so I cannot legally tell you HOW to eat, I can just tell you some common sense ideas.

A simple guideline is a portion of protein, a portion of fat and fill the rest up with veggies. Carbs sparingly, no need to go apeshit and eat two cups of rice.

So for breakfast you may want to have two-three eggs cooked in coconut oil with some sauteed peppers.

Lunch would be chicken (on the bone is better and tastes great), with some rice and a salad with oil and vinegar.

Dinner could be a steak, a sweet potato and some broccoli.

Protein shakes to fill gaps during the day. Add cinnamon and a small amount of coconut milk (from the can, not the jug) for added fat… just a small amount. Half a can is a bad idea, a tablespoon is better.

Nutrition is the easiest part of this lifestyle and the hardest. We all know what to eat. Unless you are a raging idiot you know what foods are good for you. If you are that person who picks up a box of Kraft Mac and Cheese wondering if this is healthy, you are the type of person who needs to print this blog out and take it to the store with you because you cannot be trusted to wander off into the cookie aisle and gather up 18 packs of Double Stuff.

If you eat gluten (I do, I love gluten) try cutting back on it for a couple weeks and see if you feel better. If you do, continue not eating it. Some of us genetically unlucky ones can’t tolerate gluten. Remember, kids, Paleo is god’s way of saying you are a mutant.

Same for dairy. I am lucky that I can drink milk and not feel like my stomach is re-enacting the Battle of Waterloo. Some aren’t. If that is you, don’t use it. Gainz won’t happen when sprinting back and forth from the power rack to the men’s room. That’s called cardio. Excess cardio is bad.

What to do in a pinch?

Let’s say you are like me and your lifestyle is busy. I don’t always prepare my meals ahead of time because I forget, get lazy or just don’t plain feel like it.

There are days when I have to eat out for lunch and its not easy when you are surrounded by 10,000 fast food places that all smell like a grease factory.

Yes, they taste good, but nothing spells regret more than sucking down a triple cheeseburger, fries and a diet coke (yes I drink diet coke) for lunch.

You can easily manage this without too much hassle.

If you live in a rural area, I can’t help you much. I am an urban guy. I grew up on concrete surrounded by lunch trucks, delis, easy access to food and other great amenities you don’t get in East Guam. The only suggestion I have for rural folks is pack a rifle, some wood and a match. You can shoot a cow and cook it for lunch. See how rural idiotic I am?

For the rest of us whose neighbors aren’t 5 miles away this is easy.

Many supermarket chains sell cooked rotisserie chickens. Buy one, eat it.

Even fast food places will be easy.

You can get a side salad (with lemon instead of that crap dressing they want to force on you) and a grilled chicken sandwich. Lose the bun and eat the chicken with the salad.

While your co-workers are around you sucking back milkshakes and having that afternoon crash you will feel better.

Yes, those people will mock you. But as you look at their guts and triple chins while you are able to see veins in your arms, just sit back and smile. There is no need to rub it in that their bodies look like a beached whale. They already know, they are just compensating by knocking you down.

This is about as simple as it gets.

If you are training for general health, strength and body composition this may be all you need. Training for a contest of some sort will require various tweaks to a normal eating plan which is too complex for the scope of this post.

But…

If you go to the gym just to be the best version of you, this WILL help you.

If this doesn’t help you, hire someone…

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