Repentance via iron and will

None of us are without a past. None of us are without some skeletons in our closet, me included.

There are things in my past I wish I could erase but that’s not possible. There are things I wish I never got involved with in my distant past, but they made me who I am today.

My close friends and family know, the rest of you can guess and wonder. My life is my own and as personal as I can get on here, some things are better left private.

Throughout the years of my successes, failures, bad decisions, good decisions I have had a constant therapist in the gym. Even talking with a professional doesn’t help as much as walking into the power rack and massacring myself.

Sometimes my workouts were irresponsible. I had days when I squatted 100 total reps plus of a chosen weight, days when I did 12×2 at 90-95% of my 1RM. Days when I deadlifted heavy weights repeatedly just to feel myself almost blackout time and time again.

Why?

Because the physical pain is therapeutic.

Some call that crazy. Some understand. Some will never get it.

At 38, I have not conquered my past, I am a product of it. All I can do from this minute forward is be better. Better for myself and better for others.

It all comes together for me with a barbell and some weight.

Those that don’t train will never understand that. They’ll never see the value of the iron bar as a learning tool. They see it as an obsession and as something silly. Meanwhile they party, drink, sit on their asses and watch TV all night long. Never truly reflecting on what it means to grow.

You can’t grow when your mind is blank.

When you are looking at the loaded bar in front of you, that is symbolic of your life. It’s an object meant to have your will forced on it. It’s your life in that loaded bar. No matter what you do with the day to day, you can either improve or quit before you try.

But remember this, quitting once makes it that much easier to keep quitting.

But going all out, pushing yourself, seeing transformations happen in the mirror and seeing numbers go up has a remarkable effect on your psyche.

It makes you face yourself.

It’s the perfect self-reflection moment.

Just you. The weight. Your success.

It doesn’t matter where you came from or what you did in your life to get to this day. Always improve. Always go after life with your head held high. Always go after what you want with the same vigor as you go after that PR. Once you learn that, you learn what it’s like to be alive.

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