2013 – Resolutions are for quitters

Happy New Year and throw away that stupid list you wrote.

Nobody cares that you want to lose weight, “tone” up, blah blah…

By the beginning of February you will be back to the same old out of shape excuse making jerk and the rest of us will be happy you are gone from the gym.

If you need a resolution to make a lifestyle change, you won’t follow through. 9 out of 10 psychologists agree… I don’t have a study for that, but I am sure they do. Each and every year come the first week of January, those resolutioners line up to buy memberships at the gym and PT sessions. Oh it rules if you are in the business as I am, but don’t bank on them hanging around after the first 5-6 sessions. Its been proven by my experiences that most of them are going to peter out like an old man with no Viagra…. not the old man part, but you know what I mean….

Gyms love it, they get revenue, serious lifters hate it because they clog up the equipment looking like they are having seizures while working out. Often times going too heavy with shit form… but at least they are trying… but since most of them quit they would be better off taking a Zumba class to look at some ass rather than hog up a power rack while I wait to squat.

Stop wasting your time with a list, and start managing your time with some concrete-ass goals that mean something besides “I want to get in shape” or “I want to run a marathon”. Big goals look too big to accomplish when that first week has you huffing and puffing running around the block.

Set goals… small ones. Fuck your resolutions. Instead of saying “I want to tone up and do cardio every day”, because you KNOW you won’t keep that one past a week… try saying “I want to lose 10 pounds by the end of February” those baby steps can be made into bigger steps. Before you know it you are at the top of the building looking down at the old, fat you; wondering why you ever let yourself go.

If you a weakling, saying “I want to bench 400 pounds” will make me laugh at you. It took me YEARS to get to a 400 pound bench, and most of us are the same. My goals are small. I take baby steps because I know that looking at a huge goal in front of me means I will say “shit that is going to be hard” and get pissed off at myself for not making it sooner. I want to take small steps to climb that building, not jump to the top and fall.

If you want to be a quitter, write down big goals and watch yourself fall too many times.

If you want to make an impact on yourself and be a winner, take these simple little steps to ensure it:

  1. Small goals – lose 10 pounds, run 5 miles, bench your bodyweight, squat your bodyweight (god everyone needs to do this, at LEAST), etc. etc. Keep a journal, track the goals and reward yourself when you reach them with something you want; a new shirt that costs too much, something like that.
  2. Progress pics – These help. You see yourself on a daily basis so little differences in how you look are going to be hard to tell each day. If you compare yourself on a weekly basis over time with pictures, you will see improvements and where you need to work on.
  3. Support system – don’t tell your alcoholic father about your goals, he is probably going to be too drunk to care about your fitness when he is slugging back a bottle of Jim Beam. Tell friends, tell people at the gym who seem to care about other’s goals (they exist, trust me). Tell anyone who will support you on your quest and help keep you in line.
  4. Hang up cheesy motivational quotes on mirrors around the house – stupid, but repetitive positive readings WILL help. Find ones that light that fire.
  5. Watch Rocky Balboa often – if that movie doesn’t make you want to pillage a small village and take the virgins for yourself, nothing will. Braveheart is cute, Rocky is a goddamn one man motivational crew.
  6. Don’t quit – each time you want to quit you are taking away part of what makes you a man/woman and throwing it away. You OWE it to yourself to be the best physical specimen you can be.

Now, throw away the resolutions and make goals.


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