01-15-2012 Workout – a personal sorta blog entry

I am taking a rare approach here with this blog entry. I have maintained a professional/informative approach to tracking my workouts here and avoided any sort of personal nonsense because nobody cares to read about that. Even the best lifters in the world should follow that same advice because your huge ass numbers are really all people are going to remember, not about your day…

But this is different today, my personal saga has led to today’s workout.

Now I am NOT going into details at all, those are left for the party/parties involved, as my saga is not fit for public consumption whatsoever, but today’s punishment is.

I am going through a trying time right now, both personally and professionally… there are a lot of changes on the horizon and a lot of decisions I am making, or have been making lately. Not to mention other turmoil that was brought upon me by an elder (again details are insignificant)… in my 37 years of life, the past few weeks of it has been enough to almost break me down completely. The only reason I have not is for one reason only…. faith and hope, well make that two. Faith NOT in a higher power but faith in something else.

Today was a particularly stressful day and I wanted to physically punish myself in the gym. Call it stupid but I wanted my internal anguish to manifest itself externally and take it out on the iron.

My squat was always my one lift that gave me headaches where my numbers stalled or crept up like maple syrup on a cold day so today I chose to kill my legs.

Squat
135 x 3
225 x 3
315 x 3
365 x 3
405 x 3
455 x 2
500 x 1

500 pounds is a lifetime PR. I was texting a very good friend of mine, Brad, between these sets and we were talking about our respective concerns and I decided to say fuck it and actually face this weight down.

I had Blood for Blood “Redemption Denied” playing on my iPhone and I paced back and forth, let out a grunt, got under the bar and with my eyes welling up I unracked it. As I descended I stared at myself in the mirror thinking there was no way I was going to allow anything to prevent me from getting what I want. I lifted the weight.

To some of you 500# isn’t that great, to some of you 500# is awesome. To me its a start because I am not built for squatting, I am long and tall. I have to work damn hard to get my squat to go up and I hit a number that I am very happy with. That one lift symbolized my life at this moment. That there are some serious things I am coping with right now and all I can do is take everything one big ass step at a time and be patient and steadfast.

But the carnage wasn’t over….

Leg Curls
190 x 15
210 x 10
210 x 10
210 x 10
210 x 8
210 x 8
210 x 8
210 x 6

Leg Extensions
250 x 15
250 x 15
250 x 15
250 x 17
250 x 14
250 x 12
250 x 11
250 x 8

Decline situps
3 x 20

This was not an appropriate workload at all but oh well. I am quite sure tomorrow I will not be able to walk at all.

When I got done with the last set of leg extensions I was shaking. I literally left it all on the floor today, I walked to my bag, laid down and actually passed out for about 10-15 seconds I think… I don’t know, I didn’t time it.

I was lightheaded leaving the gym and sat in my car for about 20 minutes before starting it up, almost falling asleep a few times.

Then I went home and had to deal with one of the above crises all over again….

Stress can benefit you at times, but its not the norm… if you are having a time in your life where all seems bleak and you have to fight hard for what you want, remember to take it one lift at a time, make each effort a PR and step by step you will get ahead of the game.

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